


Magnets In My Bones

by reyloanne



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bandit the Corgi, Book Love, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Kylo Ren is inspired by Atticus Poetry, Not Ben or Rey, Skywalker's City of Books is basically Powell's in Portland, Writer Ben Solo, and Kylo the Cat, featuring Gary Fisher Solo, happily ever after guaranteed for our OTP, mentions of cancer and COPD, nurse rey, we miss you Space Mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:54:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25229425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reyloanne/pseuds/reyloanne
Summary: After a mid-life crisis, Ben Solo (and his alter ego, trendy internet poet Kylo Ren) returns home to help run the family bookstore, care for his mother, and try to figure out his life - and maybe, just maybe, he’ll finally write that novel.Oncology nurse Rey is looking for a place to live when she gets an unusual proposition that she just can’t refuse from Leia Skywalker Solo, co-owner of the famous Skywalker’s City of Books.Two lonely people, brought together by their shared love of one amazing woman. A celebration of life, family, books, poetry, and the pets that share our lives (featuring Gary Fisher Solo!).**On Hiatus**
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 77
Kudos: 52
Collections: A Picture is worth 1000 Words - PL Summer Exchange





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mudheart7567](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mudheart7567/gifts).



> For Mudheart7567 - I picked this one of your lovely moodboards. I can only hope I captured the spirit of it! You'll see the images featured in later chapters, as many as I can fit in! I'm guessing it'll be about 6 chapters, and I'm already halfway done writing. I plan to update once a week ~~
> 
> [](https://imgur.com/BykK5W1)   
> 

**_“Let us promise, you and i, that we are one,  
that i am for you, yours till the end, end of it all,  
and when it ends, which we will not fear,  
let us promise we will lie together and let our bodies tumble into dust,  
and there our elements will join as one,  
and time will pass and the world will change but we will be together still,  
and when all the world ends in light and heat our very atoms will meld,  
too mixed then to ever be apart._ **

**_Let us promise this, and we will no longer fear to be alone, in now or forever,  
for you and i will be fated, as atoms in star dust floating forever in the black.”_ **

The last waves of his deep, sonorous voice rang out over the audience as Rey sat in rapt silence. Her breath came in shallow hitches, stomach swooping as if on a roller coaster. Her heart felt as if it was being squeezed in a vice grip (actually, by one of that man’s giant hands, god!), and heat burned in her lower belly as she squirmed on her chair, unconsciously trying to relieve some pressure as her blood pooled low and thrummed at the sound of his voice for the past hour.

He had seemed to be reading that last one just to her—his eyes, the only thing visible of his face behind the mask, fixed on hers. Rey knew she had to be imagining it, but she was sure she’d felt a connection like a live wire passing between them. It was overwhelming, and she was sure fainting was imminent as all the blood had left her head and gone _elsewhere_ in her body.

She’d discovered Kylo Ren’s poetry by accident, when someone had retweeted one of his poems. For all that they were often criticized as being a bit trite, something in them touched Rey, a rawness and realness in the space of an Instagram post that spoke to her soul. She’d been following him ever since, and she felt like she knew him in a way. Now he was here in Portland, giving his first public reading ever, and she’d decided she had to go to Skywalker’s Books and see the mysterious anonymous poet in person, maybe get his autograph and chat with him a bit.

* * * * *

[](https://imgur.com/nWzutve)  


As Rey had sat waiting impatiently for the reading at Skywalker’s Books to begin, she’d closed her eyes and breathed in the familiar sounds and smells. She’d been coming to Skywalker’s since arriving in Portland ten years ago for college, and she felt like practically part of the family now. She’d heard that elusive family scion, Leia’s son Ben, had returned to help Luke and Leia run the business, but she’d yet to catch a glimpse of him.

Skywalker’s City of Books took up one entire city block, and every nook and cranny was filled to the brim with books, _glorious_ books! And best of all, they had pioneered the innovation of putting used books on the shelves next to new ones, so Rey could often get something she wanted for a price she could afford.

She loved books: the smell, the feel. She often ran her fingers over the covers and spines of beloved books in sheer reverence. And it sounded hyperbolic, but Rey knew books had saved her life.

As a foster kid in Jakku, in the remote eastern part of the state, Rey saw despair and poverty all around her. Most people worked boring, dead-end jobs at the few factories and plants in the area. It wasn’t necessarily a bad living, but it went along with a lot of substance abuse, violence, family dysfunction, and a dead-eyed dullness that made her long for more. She knew that she was meant for more than this.

The only thing that had made it bearable for Rey were her books and Maz, her foster mother for most of her life. But Maz had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died within 6 months when Rey was 16. She’d spent those months making sure Maz’s final days were comfortable, and she was with her when she passed.

Her next foster parent, Unkar Plutt, had been unsupportive at best, just in it for the money from the state, and for the free labor he got from her in his auto body shop. The kids around her were all into drinking, drugs, and partying, but Rey never fit in, and she was still grieving the loss of Maz. But at least she still had her books: fantasy, some sci-fi, and the classics. She even challenged herself with the hardest books she could find, especially enjoying the densest Russian masterpieces like “War and Peace” and “The Brothers Karamazov.” Luckily her school and local libraries had a good enough selection.

She laughed at herself a bit now, at how snobby and pretentious she’d been with her reading in those days. But she’d truly loved all those books—they’d been her escape from a difficult life—and Rey is absolutely convinced that reading them is what enabled her to score well on the SAT, become a National Merit Scholar, get a full ride scholarship to study nursing in Portland, and escape the dead-end life that had awaited her back in Jakku.

Rey had graduated with a nursing degree, and, inspired by her experience with Maz, she was now working as an oncology nurse for a big local hospital. She’d found a group of friends, including Rose, her colleague and roommate. But Rose was getting married, and her husband-to-be Finn was moving in. So Rey had to find a new place to live, and quickly. But one of her former professors, Amilyn Holdo, had a lead for her that sounded promising, so Rey decided to let the worry and the stress go, and just live in the moment and enjoy this live reading from someone whose words had surprisingly come to mean a lot to her.

When it was time to begin she’d felt a hush descend like a blanket over the packed crowd, and then HE had walked in, looking bigger than she could ever have imagined, an absolute unit of a man dressed in all black and wearing a silver mask that obscured his entire face, except for his eyes. He’d walked to the front with big, loping, slightly pigeon-toed steps.

As he read, holding the book up or crossing his arms over his chest at times, his biceps had absolutely bulged. And his hands! She was sitting close enough to see that his hands looked like they might be the size of her whole abdomen, with fingers that were long and thick and had her doing a few Kegels right there in her seat just thinking about them.

But his voice was the real destroyer of her peace. She’d sat there for an hour and just absolutely let those deep tones wash over her like ocean waves slowly pulling her under. It was hypnotic. Rey thought it was distinctly possible that she hadn’t blinked or taken a real breath since he’d first opened his mouth. She would never, _ever_ forget that voice.

The past hour had been a sensory experience she had been in no way prepared for. Now, as he thanked everyone for coming to the reading, the spell was broken and Rey bolted. She realized now that if he actually spoke to her, she would absolutely pass out or otherwise make a complete and utter fool of herself. The thought of even trying to interact with him practically gave her a panic attack. Time to book it back home and have some private time to try and work off some of this nervous energy—she had a feeling this would be a vivid imaginative journey starring a very special voice and pair of large hands put to good use. She just had to hope Rose was out with Finn!

She left without looking back, too quickly to see Kylo Ren make a move in her direction, and then give up and follow her with his eyes as she left.

* * * * *

“Rey, wait!” She was almost out the door when she heard someone calling her name. She turned around to find Luke Skywalker waving a hand and jogging after her, huffing and puffing.

“Hey, Mr. Skywalker! I was just leaving. I saw Kylo Ren, I, uh.” She shuffled nervously, still on edge after the bombshell that was Kylo Ren.

“How was it?” Luke asked with a bemused look on his face.

“Oh it was great! Really powerful. I’m a big fan. Huge.” Rey rolled her eyes internally.

“Glad you enjoyed it. We may be seeing ‘Kylo’ around here more often. Hey, are you busy right now? Have to get to work or anything?” Rey shook her head. “Great! Leia’s in the office and she’d like to talk to you. Could you come see her now?”

“Yes, sure,” Rey replied, and followed Luke as he turned to walk towards the main offices. “Any idea what this is about?” Rey squeezed her hands together, trying to quell the tremble in them.

“I’ll let her tell you.” Luke looked over at her with a wink and a twinkle in his brilliant blue eyes.

As they walked past shelves and shelves of books, they were delayed by the many customers calling out to Luke, who would then stop and chat. it seemed like he knew _everyone_. He had inherited this shop from the founder, his father, Anakin Skywalker, and had been coming here since he was a baby, so it only made sense. Rey wondered how their business was doing, and how they were able to compete and seemingly thrive against internet behemoths like Nile Books and Jeff Snoke.

She knew Snoke had a reputation as a ruthless businessman, and that the recently-returned Ben Solo had worked for years for Nile Books. Why he left, and why he’d finally returned home to Skywalker’s, was a matter of intense speculation. She wanted to ask Luke about it, but didn’t want to overstep.

They arrived and the office and Luke rapped smartly on the door.

“Come in,” a raspy voice called.

They opened the door to find Leia Skywalker Solo sitting at the desk. Even with the now ever-present oxygen tubing in her nose, and the period hiss of oxygen from the canister at her side, she still looked every bit the foul-mouthed, give no f*cks, imposing force of nature that Rey had always known her to be.

“Rey, forgive me if I don’t stand up, this old body’s failing me! The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and all that. Have a seat! So good to see you again, my dear.” She returned Luke’s little smile and wave as he left and closed the door behind him.

“Mrs. Solo, it’s so nice to see you again.” Rey was sitting with her back ramrod straight and hands twisting nervously in her lap, still feeling like a naughty child called into the principal’s office, although she couldn’t think of anything she’d be in trouble for.

“You must be wondering what I wanted to see you about,” she said, and Rey nodded, eyes wide. “As you know, I’ve been having some health issues lately. I was diagnosed with COPD a few years ago. Well, unfortunately, I was recently diagnosed with lung cancer as well.” She held up a hand at Rey’s shocked condolences. “My dear, I am only paying for a lifetime of hard living and smoking. I was a chain smoker from my teens, and I only gave it up under absolute necessity. I still sneak one from time to time, when I think my son won’t catch me.”

Rey laughed at Leia’s mischievous smile, still as captivating as ever.

“So what I wanted to talk to you about was this: I’m looking for a part-time, live-in caregiver. Amilyn Holdo is a dear friend of mine, and she recommended you highly, saying that you also need a place to live. So I think we can help each other out. What do you think?”

Rey sat there stunned. So this was Professor Holdo’s lead! It was the perfect solution to all her problems. There was only the issue of her job at the hospital—and Bandit.

“Mrs. Solo, I am so honored that you would consider me for this, and that Professor Holdo would say such kind things. It does sound like a great fit, but my main question is: what about my job? I do work full time at the hospital. Would that leave me enough time to do what you need? What would your expectations be of me?”

“That’s a great question,” Leia smiled. “Right now, I mainly need a companion. Someone to be with me in the evenings; to be on call for me at night if I need anything. Someone to take me shopping on the weekends, and to drive me to doctor’s appointments when able. I do also have my son and my brother around to help with things like that.”

Leia paused, looking down at the desk and tapping it with her be-ringed hand. “And I would like you to take care of some simple cooking and cleaning that I’m just not able to do anymore, as well as helping me bathe and dress at times. Do you think that would be too much?”

“Not at all, I enjoy cooking, and I’d be happy to spend time with you. I’ve always enjoyed our talks over these past ten years so much.”

Leia looked up and met her eyes with a warm gaze.

“I guess my last question is, what would my salary or compensation be? Just room and board?” Rey asked hesitantly, embarrassed as always to talk money.

“Not at all, my dear. I’m prepared to offer you room and board, plus an additional $400 a week. This would all be contingent on a one-week trial period, during which either of us could decide it’s not working for us with no obligation. After that, I believe I will have to ask you to sign something, at the insistence of my ever-suspicious son.”

Rey was shocked. This was way beyond what she could have expected. It would be a lot of work, but her savings on living expenses alone would be huge. She was about to open her mouth to accept on the spot, when Leia spoke again.

“One more thing, Rey, before you decide: this situation may be very temporary. My prognosis is not good. And then you’d be out of a place to live again—although I’m pretty sure my son wouldn’t kick you out on the street immediately.” She laughed her distinctive throaty laugh that Rey loved. “He’s a good boy, despite his grumpy exterior. He’ll give you time to find a new place once I’m gone.”

“Oh, Mrs. Solo–”

“Leia, please.”

“OK, Leia, one more thing: I do have a little Corgi named Bandit. He’s six years old and a very sweet and well-behaved boy. He’s actually a certified therapy dog, and I sometimes take him to the hospital to visit patients. Would it be possible to bring him with me? I promise he never pees in the house, or chews things up, or barks too much. And he doesn’t shed, either, so he’s hypoallergenic. I’m sure my former roommate would be able to keep him for me, but I just hate to leave him behind.” Leia opened her mouth to speak, but Rey rushed on to reassure her. “Of course, your health comes first, and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or–”

“Rey, that sounds OK,” Leia jumped in decisively. “Let’s give it a trial period too, and see how it goes. I actually have a dog of my own, a French bulldog named Gary. I can’t believe I forgot to mention him! I’m sure we can find a solution that works for all of us. If worse comes to worst, one of them can go live out in the cabin with my son and his crazy cat.”

“Your son lives with you?” Rey asked, surprised.

“Yes, there’s an old cabin on the back of the property, dating from the 1920s. We had it fixed up for my mother to live in in her final years. Now Ben’s been living there for the past three years, ever since he escaped from Snoke’s clutches.” Leia cackled. “God, I hate that prune-faced old bastard! May his socks always be wet and his beer never cold!”

Rey burst out laughing. It was impossible to imagine a world without Leia Skywalker Solo in it. She was such a force of nature. Rey would do whatever she could to keep that star shining bright for as long as possible.

“Leia, I’d love to work for you. I have 3 days off this weekend. I can begin moving some of my stuff in and start work then. If that’s not too soon?”

Leia stood up slowly and held her arms out. “Come give this old lady a hug. Rey, I’m so thrilled you accepted. We’re going to have so much fun together!” 

“Leia!” Rey laughed as she felt a surprisingly strong swat on her butt.

“Get out of here, my girl! Talk to Luke on your way out to make sure we have all your contact information, and you have ours. See you soon!”

Rey took one last look to see Leia sit back down heavily, looking unsteady as she clutched onto the desk and the back of her chair. But she gave Rey a little finger wiggle and a wink just as the door was closing. Her body may have been weakening, but her personality was just as strong as ever.

In all the excitement over her sudden change of circumstances, Kylo Ren was shoved to the back of Rey’s mind as a sudden madness, best forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren is inspired by Atticus Poetry, who you can find on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AtticusPoetry), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/atticuspoetry/), and [his website](https://www.atticuspoetry.com/). He's anonymous and wears a full face mask to public readings. The beautiful poem which starts out this fic was 100% WRITTEN BY ATTICUS AND NOT BY ME (or Kylo Ren😂).


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Last time:** We met Rey, a nurse, at a Kylo Ren poetry reading and learned a little about her background. Then Leia hired Rey to come and work for her as a live-in nurse after Leia's recent cancer diagnosis. And we got just a glimpse of Kylo Ren...
> 
> Let's meet Ben Solo now, shall we? We'll explore his background a little, and then see what happens when Rey moves in and meets him too.
> 
> And we'll meet the pets!  
> [](https://imgur.com/q0Bnyvy)  
> 

Ben sat at his manual typewriter early on a Saturday morning, waiting for inspiration to strike. He’d bought it a few years back at an antiques store, and he loved the steel weightiness of it, the violence of the percussive keystrokes on the page, the smell of ink and oil, the zip and ding of the carriage return. It all kept him grounded to himself in a way he’d lost track of during all those years of working as a corporate shark for Snoke and Nile Books.

He’d left his job and lost his girlfriend, all right before his thirty-fifth birthday. He hadn’t liked either of them very much, but they’d given him meaning and a sense of purpose, however tenuous. In a mid-life crisis—god, was his life already halfway over?—he’d decided on a whim to backpack around Europe for the summer. A chance meeting in London with his dad’s old buddy Carlos “Chewy” Barca had changed his life.

Chewy had become a famous actor, a huge, bearded “man’s man” best known for his ability to kick bad-guy ass. He was a guy who seemed to have it all together, so when he opened up to Ben that summer about his struggles with depression and self-doubt, and showed him the book of poetry that he’d written, it turned Ben’s world upside-down. Chewy had told him that being able to vent and express himself creatively through poetry had saved his life, and his marriage. It was one of those perspective shifting moments that can define the course of a life.

Wandering the streets of Paris in a daze a week after his meeting with Chewy, his mind still buzzing with all he’d heard, Ben had stopped at a cafe and written about the experience on his phone. And then he’d begun writing poetry himself, posting it on a whim to an anonymous Instagram account under his old D&D name Kylo Ren. Somehow, his poetry had caught on and he’d gained big followings on Instagram and Twitter over the past few years, as well as a couple of book deals.

So the prodigal son had moved back home and embraced his new life as a writer, as well as his destiny as the last Skywalker, helping his mother and uncle run the family business. Thanks to them, Skywalker’s had remained viable in the face of Nile Books’ aggressive tactics, but Ben knew they had to be continually adapting and changing in order to survive. Time to put his business degree and his insider knowledge of Snoke’s tactics to work.

When he’d returned from Europe, he’d moved into the little cabin on the back of his mother’s one-acre property in the Portland suburbs. It had originally been used as in-law quarters for his mother’s mother until her passing. Ben had fond memories of growing up with Grandma Padme just a short walk across the back lawn. No matter how bad things got at home, he knew he could always find refuge and unconditional love with her. She had shown him what love could be.

She’d also shared her love of literature and poetry with him. Skywalker’s City of Books had been founded by her and her late husband, Anakin, and her cabin was bursting at the seams with books. She’d always had one book on her side table and another on the headboard of her bed that she was working through. Ben’s first exposure to poetry had come from the poster on her wall of top Jewish playwrights and poets. There was biographical information and a little quote from each one, and Ben remembered studying those for hours.

Once Padme was gone, the cabin had been his dad’s man cave to watch sports with his buddies until his passing five years ago, of a heart attack. Before Ben had moved in, it had been closed up for a couple of years.

Now, at 38, Ben was still working on his poetry, but his real love was literature. He had a novel inside him longing to come out, but the words just wouldn’t flow. Part of it was worry for his mother, who was struggling with lung disease after a lifetime of heavy smoking. He helped her as much as he could, but he was really worried about her declining health, especially in light of her recent cancer diagnosis.

Losing his dad had been a blow, but as much as he’d loved his dad, they’d never really understood each other. His dad was a man of action, always moving, always making something with his hands. He could hardly sit still long enough to read a book. But Ben in his seriousness and his bookishness took after Leia, and the thought of losing her, his last remaining family member (well, besides Uncle Luke, who Ben didn’t quite count), was devastating.

To top it all off, Leia had hired a live-in nurse without consulting him, and the girl was supposed to be arriving today, the anniversary of his dad’s death. He’d heard too many horror stories of old ladies robbed blind by untrustworthy caretakers to be happy about this. The least his mother could have done was let him check the girl out, call her references—hell, even just talk to her. At least Luke claimed to know her and was satisfied with her character, but Ben would not let her start without a thorough vetting. If she was a money-grubbing opportunist, she’d be out on her ass before the week was through.

His frustration boiled over and he wanted to rage and throw the typewriter. And he might have done so, except he didn’t want to incur the wrath of Kylo, his spoiled black cat, currently to be found primly grooming his long black fur on the couch—or of his Grandma Padme, whose spirit he was sure was watching over them all.

Just then, he heard the sound of crunching gravel as a car turned into their driveway. She must be here.

* * * * *

On Friday, Finn and Rose helped Rey pack up her belongings from their apartment, and on Saturday morning bright and early the three of them plus Bandit drove over to Leia’s house in Naboo, a suburb southeast of Portland.

Leia met them at the door, grabbing Rey’s face with her hands and kissing both cheeks.

“Good morning, young people!” She bent down to give Bandit, who was sitting patiently on the doorstep waiting for Rey’s command, a pat on the head. “And you too, handsome sir! What a good boy you are! What did you say his name is, Rey?”

“Bandit. Because when he was a puppy, he had black over his eyes just like a bandit’s mask, and the name just stuck.” Rey gestured towards her friends. “Mrs. Solo, let me introduce Rose and Finn, my best friends. They’re getting married in a month—which is why I needed to move out.”

“I thought I told you to call me Leia,” the older lady scolded, hands on her hips, then turned to squeeze Rose’s and Finn’s hands in each of hers. “Welcome, you two! So nice to have you here.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, ma’am. We’re huge fans of Skywalker’s!” Rose gushed.

“Thank you, sweetie, it’s so nice to hear that! And congratulations on your upcoming marriage. Ahh, young love!” With one last squeeze, Leia dropped their hands and moved back to let them pass through the doorway. “Come in, come in!”

Turning to Rey, she said, “I’ve got Gary shut up in my bedroom for now, but if you think Bandit would be OK, I’ll let him out. He’s very good with other dogs.”

“Bandit is too,” Rey replied. “It should be fine.”

Rey watched with concern as Leia hobbled slowly, breathing audibly labored, down the hall to her room. It was hard to see such a proud and strong woman brought low like this.

While she waited, Rey looked around what she could see of the house. It was beautifully furnished, with real hardwood floors, expensive-looking Oriental rugs, and lots of plush furniture. Big windows provided a view to the huge hardwood trees in the back yard and let in plenty of natural light. But what struck Rey most were the framed photos and collections of art and keepsakes that covered nearly every flat surface in the room. She’d definitely be exploring those when she had a chance.

A moment later, Gary came running out, and the two dogs commenced the age-old dance of circling around sniffing each other’s butts.

“I’ve got to sit down, children,” Leia announced after a few moments, sitting heavily in one of her living room chairs. “Let me call my son to show you where Rey’s room is. I’m afraid these old lungs can’t handle stairs anymore.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry ma’am, I mean Leia!” Rey cried out. “Don’t let us get in your way or tire you out. We’ll be in and out and done before you know it. I don’t have much stuff.”

At that moment, Rey heard a door somewhere at the back of the house open and a man’s voice call out: “Mother? Is she here? I heard voices and a car coming up the driveway.” Heavy footsteps sounded and a moment later the biggest man Rey had ever seen—well, except for maybe Kylo Ren; they looked about the same size?—appeared in the room. How had such a tiny woman given birth to such a behemoth?

“Which one of them is the nurse?” he asked his mother in a curt tone, eyes sliding quickly over them with what seemed like distaste. Rey raised her hand and gave him a little wave.

When he turned to face her fully, Rey saw several strong emotions flit over his face that she was unable to quite make out. Was that surprise? Recognition, even? Had they met? She didn’t think so, but something about him seemed familiar.

“Hi, I’m Rey. It’s great to meet you. I’m really happy to be taking care of your mother. I know we can help each other out a lot,” Rey said, holding out her hand for him to shake. She dropped it in confusion when he made no move to take it, her smile faltering.

“I’m not convinced this is necessary,” he said brusquely, eyes never leaving hers. “We didn’t need to hire an outsider.”

His eyes looked so familiar for some reason...

“Ben!” Leia’s voice sounded in warning from the side.

“Mother!” He turned toward her, mocking her tone. “You’re so naive. How do we know she’s trustworthy? You didn’t find her through a reputable agency or service. Have you even looked into her background? Called references? Done any kind of due diligence on this?”

Turning back to Rey, he said, “I’ll need you to sign some paperwork before you start. I’m sorry if you take offense at that, but I’m sure you understand we can’t take any chances. I’ll also need you to provide your resume and three references; let them know I’ll be calling within the next two business days.”

Something about his voice was scratching at the back of Rey’s mind, like a dog wanting to be let in, but her increasingly hot anger at his rude treatment didn’t leave her any time to think about it.

“Excuse me? Ben, right?” She took a step closer to him, arms crossed over her chest, unwilling to back down. Something flickered in his gaze as he stared down at her. “I would be happy to give you references. I’ll provide them as soon as I get a moment. I have been a highly trained nurse for seven years now, and I’ve never been anything but professional. You are well within your rights to ask for references, but your mother and uncle trusted me enough to hire me on a reference from my professor, a long-time family friend, so I’d appreciate it if you gave me the benefit of the doubt just a little bit here!”

As she talked they’d leaned closer and closer to each other, both reluctant to give up any ground. Just then, an absolute blur of screeching and barking tore through the living room and right into the back of Rey’s legs, knocking her off balance and right into Ben’s chest. She instinctively grabbed onto his shoulders as his arms came around her to steady her.

Her face was planted in a chest so wide and firm that she couldn’t help subtly nuzzling into it and running her hands up and over it as she got her balance back. God, he smelled so good: A subtle scent of cologne, a little laundry detergent, and something uniquely him. She took a deep breath before turning around to assess the scene. His hands stayed on her shoulders, though, and Rey decided that perhaps she didn’t quite dislike it. Something about those hands niggled at her memory...

What she saw was two very naughty little doggies sitting side by side, tongues lolling, with the biggest grins she’d ever seen on their silly little faces. They looked the perfect picture of innocence. It was obvious they’d already become best friends, and Rey knew she’d have to be very strict with them from the beginning to ensure they behaved and didn’t knock Leia over.

Speaking of Leia: Rey looked over to find Leia with a beautiful black cat on her lap, calmly stroking his fur as she watched Ben and Rey with a gleam in her eye.

“Rey, meet Kylo. He’s Ben’s cat.” Kylo gave a little meow at hearing his name, and Ben stomped over to grab him in exasperation.

“Keep those damn dogs away from my cat! They could’ve hurt you, mother! The little menaces.” Rey saw the doggies’ ears perk up at hearing themselves mentioned, and their tails thumped in unison on the floor as they sat like perfectly-behaved little angels. He turned to Rey, eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. “I want those references by the end of the day.” And then he stalked off the way he came.

Utter silence reigned in his wake. Rey, Finn, and Rose all just looked at each other until Leia said in an amused tone:

“Well, children, that’s my son! Don’t mind him; he’s just a grump sometimes. Go ahead and get moved in Rey. Let me know if there’s anything you need.”

The three friends spent the rest of the morning moving Rey’s things into the lovely upstairs bedroom that she was to occupy. It was spacious and airy, with a queen bed and connected bathroom all her own—the height of luxury, in Rey’s opinion. There was a scene painted on one of the walls of her room that looked like it was out of a nursery story: a child, his dog, and a country garden, with a wall and a walking path that wound off into the distance. It made you want to follow the path, to see what adventures lay over the horizon. There was a story behind it for sure, and she wondered who had painted it.

Walking over to the window, Rey could see that it looked out on the back of the property. Huge, beautiful old trees provided a lovely miniature forest habitat that looked to be full of birds and other wildlife. She was sure she’d see a deer here before the week was out. A little ways back, maybe 40 feet, was a cabin that she guessed was where Ben lived. Leia had told her that a creek ran behind that. She’d have to go exploring later.

Rey spent the rest of the day with Leia, preferring to jump right into her work here. While Leia took an afternoon nap, Rey got her resume and references together and emailed them to Ben using the address Leia had given her.

Ben… Something about him was still bugging her. The puzzle pieces continued to circulate subconsciously: eyes, hands, body, voice. She didn’t see him the rest of the day, even when she and Leia ate an early dinner together, Gary and Bandit at their feet waiting hopefully for table scraps.

“He does join me for dinner most evenings, but he said he was going out tonight,” Leia told her. “Rey, I wanted to apologize for how he treated you. That was unacceptably rude.” Leia leaned over and placed her hand over Rey’s. “But cut him a little slack, will you, my dear? Today is the fifth anniversary of his father’s death. He always takes this day so hard. At that time, Ben was still working for Snoke, but he happened to be visiting. We were trying to repair our relationship after years of estrangement. Ben was the one who found his father out in the cabin. Massive heart attack. The doctor said he died instantly.”

“I’m so sorry!” Rey felt a wave of sympathy rush over her for the family who’d lost their husband and father so unexpectedly.

“He was a good man, and we miss him every day.” Leia’s voice was gruffer than usual, and her eyes had a faraway look.

They finished up dinner, and Rey helped Leia get to bed early, figuring she would follow her soon. She was absolutely exhausted. She checked her phone to find a curt email from Ben saying he’d received her email. She rolled her eyes at that, and then called Rose to chat for a few minutes.

That night, while lying in bed with Bandit beside her, she thanked her lucky stars for the chance that brought her here to this lovely home, right when she’d needed it most. She said a little prayer to whoever was listening for Leia, that they would protect and watch over her. As she drifted to sleep, Rey’s thoughts turned to impressions of Leia’s son. Ben… The sheer size of him, those expressive hands, the deep timbre of his voice...

Her eyes suddenly shot open and went wide as saucers as her heart rate skyrocketed: “Oh my god, he’s Kylo Ren!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Next chapter will be up a week from today! Thurs 7/23**
> 
> Ben's back story is based on the real history of Atticus, which you can [read here](https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/books-and-media/meet-atticus-the-most-famous-canadian-poet-youve-never-heard-of/article35730003/).
> 
> I like writing Snoke as famous real-life "guys we love to hate," apparently: here, Jeff (Bezos) Snoke. I'd say who else I wrote him as, but that might give me away (although I don't think you've read that story of mine, Mudheart7567? Or have you?? 🤔🤣😎).
> 
> And I used one of the images from your moodboard - the old-fashioned typewriter! Stay tuned for more coming up so I can get "moodboard bingo"! 😉  
> [](https://imgur.com/BykK5W1)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Last time:** We met Ben, and learned a little bit about what makes him tick. Rey moved into Leia's and also met Ben - which didn't go so well! In a classic Ben Solo move, he was kind of a jerk to her. She also figured out his secret identity as Kylo Ren.😉
> 
> Now, let's see if Ben can make it up to Rey... Maybe they can get to know each other a little better?

A week passed, and Ben watched as Rey learned the ropes of caring for the house and Leia. She’d been able to temporarily reduce her workload at the hospital to two twelve-hour shifts per week, in order to have more time to take care of Leia. Ben himself was basically “on call” during the hours Rey worked, which was fine with him, as he was flexible with his writing, and his uncle could take care of business at Skywalker’s perfectly well without him.

He sometimes joined them for lunch and dinner, and found Rey to be a talented intuitive cook with a flair for flavor. Leia was eating more, which was always a good thing.

Rey had so far proved herself to be a hard worker, cheerful, dependable, and smart. She was also funny, with a seemingly endless and ready selection of corny jokes that had his mother laughing her raspy, throaty laugh that had been silent for too long.

The little dogs loved her, following her around the house with adoration in their eyes when they weren’t curled up at his mother’s side. Ben had no doubt that his eyes showed his own adoration as he stole glances at Rey, running his eyes over her lithe and sexy form, especially that amazing ass encased in tight leggings that he longed to grab with both hands. He’d caught his mother’s knowing eyes watching him often enough to guess that his feelings were plain on his face.

Rey’s references were all glowing, as he’d guessed they would be.

It seemed everyone loved her. And what was not to love? He was halfway to that state himself. He would have to apologize to her, throw himself on her mercy, and hope that they could start again. She was a Kylo Ren fan, if her attendance at the reading was any indication. Maybe he could use his “secret identity” to his advantage?

He remembered her from the reading. How could he forget? She’d sat right up front and watched him with huge, liquid hazel eyes that seemed to see past his mask and right into his soul. He’d never felt a connection like that with anyone, like there were magnets in his bones for the iron in her blood.

And then she’d run off after the reading, and he never thought he’d see her again… Only to find her standing in his mother’s living room, those same hazel eyes staring right back into his without recognition. He’d come over expecting to pick a fight, only to find the girl of his dreams—literally.

He had dreamed about her just last night. She’d been sitting in a little hut next to a fire, and he was somehow on a spaceship but also with her in the hut. And they’d stared into each other’s eyes and touched hands over the fire. Then the hut had blown up and he’d been plunged abruptly back into the waking world. Ben had no idea what it could possibly mean, but he’d felt their connection even then. It seemed to stretch through space and time, like they would always find each other in every universe. He’d rushed to his desk to try to grasp the feelings before they slipped away in the bright light of day:

**_She was the most beautiful,  
complicated thing  
I’d ever seen,  
a tangled mess  
of silky string—  
and all I wanted of life,  
was to sit down  
cross-legged  
and untie her knots.[*](https://atticuspoetry.tumblr.com/post/125942290015/i-just-received-the-most-incredibly-brave-and)_ **

He sighed, stood up, and made his way across the lawn to the main house to find Rey cleaning up after lunch, his mother already gone to lie down for her customary afternoon nap.

“Hey, Rey. How’s she doing today?” A good, neutral opener. He picked up a clean dish towel and started drying and putting away the dishes from the drainer.

“Hi, Ben. She’s OK! In good spirits, and her energy seemed a little higher than normal. She ate a good lunch. I’m taking her in for a chemo treatment tomorrow, so I’m afraid things may be worse for a while.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and continued washing. She was wearing a cute little apron covered in books that accented her shapely waist and made her look like one of the shelves at Skywalker’s. He wanted to browse her shelves and see what was underneath her cover, flick his fingers over her pages and tease out all her hidden mysteries.

“Ah, okay. Let me know what I need to do.” He closed his eyes briefly and then forged on with the real reason he was here. “Rey, I wanted to apologize for how I treated you last week when you arrived. It was rude of me, and I’m sorry. I was having a bad day, but that’s no excuse.”

He felt her wet hand on his forearm and looked over to find her facing him fully. “It’s okay, Ben. I understand. Your mom told me what day it was.”

“Thank you.” Ben covered her hand with his and smiled down into her eyes. “Hey, if you’re not doing anything right now, would you like to come and see my cabin? There’s something I want to show you.”

“Sure,” she smiled up at him. “I’ve got my phone so Leia can call if she needs anything. She should be sleeping for another hour or so. Can I bring Bandit, or will he make your cat nervous? I think Gary is napping with your mom, so he’s a little lonely. I promise he loves cats. I don’t know what got into him that first day!”

“That’s fine, he can come too. I think they were all just playing that day. Kylo didn’t actually seem all that upset, the little shit. And I see him playing with the dogs sometimes in the backyard.”

Rey laughed and dried her hands, then followed him out the door. They walked close enough for their hands to almost brush. It was summer, the best season in western Oregon, and the shrubs and flowers were all in full bloom. Birds swooped overhead, and he heard the distinctive screech of a scrub jay and the manic tapping of a woodpecker. Life teemed all around, and he felt the contrast keenly with the black spectre that hung over the main house. Rey seemed like the only thing holding the darkness at bay. She’d come into their lives and brought the sunshine back.

They reached the cabin and he gestured for Rey to enter first, Bandit hot on her heels. Kylo looked up from his perch on top of his cat tower, then calmly stretched every limb and jumped down. He walked over to greet Bandit, who just wagged his tail calmly, obviously happy to see his kitty friend again. Kylo then sashayed over to wind sinuously through Rey’s legs, purring and meowing as she reached down to scratch his head. _Show off_ , Ben thought. _And lucky bastard_.

Bandit wandered off to explore, and Kylo took his place on the couch to groom his fur for the hundredth time that day. The little bastard really was very vain.

“So, this is my cabin,” Ben announced. “It was my grandmother’s, the co-founder of Skywalker’s Books: Padme Amidala Skywalker. And I wanted to show you her book collection.” He took her around a corner to the living room, one whole wall of which was covered floor to ceiling with books.

“Ben!” she gasped, and walked over to trail her fingers reverently over the spines of the nearest titles. 

“I know you’re a reader, so I wanted you to know you have free access to come and borrow anything you like.”

“This is amazing!” Rey came to his little collection of Kylo Ren books and Ben flushed hot. She gave him a sidelong look from under her lashes and said, “So, your cat’s named Kylo, and I can see you have all his books here. Are you a fan?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that.” Ben ran his fingers through his hair. He’d meant to tell her, but now that the moment was here he couldn’t get the words out.

“I’ve heard some people say his poetry is overrated.” She tapped her chin thoughtfully with one index finger. “Does anyone even know who he is? That mask is creepy. Do you think he’s hiding a hideous facial deformity or something?”

Rey was giving him a mischievous look that he couldn’t quite make out.

“Uhhh…”

“Actually, Ben, I saw him give a reading a couple of weeks ago at Skywalker’s. You weren’t there, were you?” Ben could only shake his head jerkily as she continued, walking slowly towards him: “Funny, as the owner I thought you would’ve been. Actually, I have to tell you, Kylo Ren was _really_ hot.”

She reached up and ran her fingertips from his shoulders down his arms as she gave him an assessing look and said, “He was about your size. Big shoulders.” She grabbed one of his hands in hers and started massaging it with her thumbs, then reached over and did the same for his other hand. “Huge hands, too. About this size.” She held onto his hand, and Ben thought he’d burst out of his skin as she looked up appraisingly, teeth biting into her lower lip. “Eyes about the same color as yours, if I remember correctly. They were about all I could see behind his mask.”

“Is that right?” Ben’s voice was weak, and he stood frozen in place as she began to walk slowly around him, hand trailing lightly along his waist. “Hmmm, I think he was about the same height as you, too. Are you sure you don’t know him?”

Rey had arrived back in front of him, eyes dancing with mirth as she continued: “Because that man was a snack and a half, and if I could find him again, I’d let him know that I want to climb him like a tree.” And then to Ben’s complete astonishment, she gave a growl and clawed at his chest like a naughty kitten.

He must have looked as panicked as he felt, because Rey burst into laughter.

“Your face!” She was doubled over in mirth, tears leaking out of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Ben, I couldn’t resist teasing you! I know you’re him. I recognized you my first day here. It took me a little while to put two and two together, but I figured it out that evening. Do you remember seeing me at the reading?”

Ben let out a nervous chuckle. “Of course I do! I recognized you right away when I saw you again. I wanted to say something, I just didn’t know how.”

“Don’t worry, your secret identity is safe with me.” Rey nudged his arm with her elbow, then went back to perusing his shelves, throwing glances over her shoulder periodically. “So tell me, why do you wear a mask? You obviously don’t have a facial deformity,” she said, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“I’ve thought about this a lot, and I guess I feel like it gives me freedom, you know? I actually wrote a poem about it: **_I wear a mask so I can write what I feel instead of what I think I should feel.[*](https://www.instagram.com/p/B0gUa_HF-V8/)_** If people don’t know who I am, don’t hear my famous name, then I can be free of the burden of legacy. I can let the past die, in a way, and try to discover who I’m meant to be. You’d think I’d have figured that out by now, after half a lifetime.”

Ben’s unfocused gaze had been fixed on a point on the ground as he said this, but then he looked up with a wry smile to find Rey turned to face him fully, eyes devouring his face as if she could unlock all his secrets.

“I see.” She paused, and Ben could tell she was thinking over what he’d said. “I’ve read the few interviews you’ve given so I know the basics of how you started writing poetry. Tell me, what were your main influences?” She turned back to browsing the shelves, but Ben could feel her listening fully, giving him space to formulate his thoughts and open up to her. 

“First and foremost, my grandmother.” Ben took a seat on the couch next to Kylo and began petting him, feeling instantly calmer. He knew there was a reason he kept this ridiculous creature around. Bandit jumped up on his other side for his share of the pets, which Ben was happy to give. “When she was alive, I spent a lot of time here in the cabin with her. She was from Europe, you know, and spent part of her childhood in Israel, where she met my grandfather. They were well-travelled and had been a part of all the major literary and publishing circles on the continent before immigrating to America. She used to read to me all the time: poetry, for sure, but also classics, the Bible, even fantasy works like the Chronicles of Narnia and Lord of the Rings.”

“You were lucky to have someone like that,” Rey sighed wistfully. “What was your favorite? If you had to pick one.”

“So my pretentious but true answer is: I was really influenced by Dante’s Divine Comedy, believe it or not. The Inferno initially appealed to my interests in the twisted and macabre, but then the whole poem caught me with its sophisticated allegory and complex moral reasoning. I even learned some Italian in an attempt to fully appreciate the poetry of the original: ‘ _Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita, mi ritrovai per una selva oscura, ché la diritta via era smarrita._ ’”

Rey looked over her shoulder at him, eyes shining. “That’s amazing! I’ve actually never read that, but now I’m intrigued. Do you have it here? Could I borrow it?”

“In English or Italian?” Ben teased.

“English, please. I’ve never learned another language. But I want to!”

Ben stood up and walked over to the shelves, discovering that his favorite translation of the Inferno was just above Rey’s head. He reached up, bringing his front into contact with her back. Was it his imagination, or was she leaning into him? He brought the book down, encircling Rey with his arms as he placed it in front of her. She was definitely pressing herself back against his torso now. His mouth was at her ear as he said:

“Here you go, Rey. I hope you enjoy it. I’d love to discuss it with you as you read.”

Their fingers brushed as she took the book from his hand, and he could hear her inhale sharply, feel her trembling lightly in his arms. She drew in a breath to answer—and her phone began to ring. Ben dropped his arms to let her move away and answer it.

Rey walked away, but then turned to face him, her eyes never leaving his as she said: “Oh hi, Leia … Yes, I’m here. I’m just over at Ben’s cabin … Oh OK, I’ll be there in just a minute.”

“I’ve got to…” She pointed toward the main house with her thumb.

“Yeah, I figured,” Ben replied.

“I’ll just take this,” she held up the book, “and I will definitely take you up on your offer to discuss it! Thank you so much!”

And then she was out the door with Bandit trotting along in her wake, taking just a little bit of the sunlight in the world with her. But Ben didn’t mind; that sunlight was theirs to borrow, him and Leia, for a little while at least. And now that he knew he’d be seeing her more often, he could be patient.

Ben walked over to his typewriter, petting Kylo along the way. He sat down and started working on his novel. The words flowed better than they had in a long, long time.

* * * * *

From that day on, he and Rey communicated by text multiple times a day, and he saw her almost every day, at least for a few minutes. A lot of their interaction was coordinating Leia’s care, but she increasingly spent what little free time she had with him as well. She sometimes came over during Leia’s afternoon nap, and she usually spent at least part of her free evenings with him after Leia had gone to bed, curled up reading on the couch while he typed, or having heated literary discussions that devolved into talks about life, love, and everything under the sun.

There was no repeat of their physical closeness from that day when she first visited his cabin, but Ben could feel a possibility, a tension between them that was bound to break one day. He felt it in the lingering glances over the top of a book, the little touches on the small of the back or the arm while preparing dinner. Her warm rose scent tantalized him whenever she brushed by, and he found himself wanting to bury his face in the long lines of her elegant neck and breathe deep from the source. He wanted to discover if the rest of her skin was just as soft as her arms, and whether or not it had freckles that matched the constellations on her face. And he especially longed to watch that expressive face as he mapped them all with his fingers and his mouth.

She was the sun around which their little household revolved, and she was slowly pulling him into her orbit, spiralling closer and closer on a collision course with her gravity.

But for now: he was in no hurry. They were getting to know each other in a way that felt organic and right, Leia was doing well under Rey’s care, and his writing was going better than it had in years—so he was content with the status quo, for now.

Things continued on this way for a couple of months, until one night he was awakened by a pounding on the door. Looking at his phone, he saw that the time was 12:54 AM. He opened the door to find Rey standing there.

“Oh thank God! I tried calling you but you didn’t answer.”

“I’m so sorry, I think I accidentally left the ringer off. Rey, what’s going on?”

“It’s your mother. She has a high fever that I can’t bring down with medicine, and she’s having trouble breathing. We’re going to have to take her into the emergency room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will earn the M rating!
> 
> Hear [Roberto Benigni recite the first canto of Dante's Inferno in Italian](https://youtu.be/dIPuo9oYTew)! He has a lovely deep voice that you should enjoy, even if it isn't quite Ben's...😂
> 
> Rey's book apron!  
> [](https://imgur.com/GIywbKq)  
>   
> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Last time:** Ben and Rey got to know each other, bonding over books and caring for Leia. At the end of the chapter, Leia (who, as you remember, is struggling with lung cancer and advanced COPD) was very sick and had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night.
> 
> Now, let's see how Leia's doing! Will the seriousness of this health scare bring Ben and Rey even closer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Sofondabooks for looking over this for me once again!! I couldn't do it without you. 😍  
>  **Content Warning:** caring for seriously ill aging parents, talk of death. See note at the end of the chapter for more details.

[](https://imgur.com/1Golnuv)  
  


While she waited for Ben to get dressed and make his way over to the main house, Rey focused on packing up what they’d need for a trip to the hospital. The dogs could tell that something was up and were pacing nervously around after her. She’d just have to leave them here, and she or Ben could come back to take them out in the morning.

Rey debated whether or not they should call an ambulance, but since they were going to the hospital where Rey worked, she decided to just call ahead to the nurses station. She thought Rose might be working that evening, so Rey asked for her and practically sobbed with relief when Rose’s voice came on the line.

“Hello?”

“Rose, thank god!”

“Rey, what’s going on? Is something wrong with Mrs. Solo?”

Rey proceeded to recount all of Leia’s symptoms, and Rose agreed that she needed to come in right away, and that they would start prepping for her arrival.

Leia was confused and semi-conscious in bed and Rey was unable to get her up. In the end, Ben had to carry her to the car. Rey was so grateful for his strength, both physical and emotional, to hold her and Leia up during this frightening time.

Rey rode in the backseat with Leia, who seemed stable enough for now but was moaning softly. She held onto Leia’s bony, weathered hand and willed strength and life force into her. Desperate to touch Ben, Rey reached her other hand up and placed it on his shoulder. He reached back to grasp it with one of his, and they rode to the hospital like that, the three of them connected in a vital loop of love.

After the black silence of the dead of night, the bright lights of the hospital were a shock and a relief. Rey jumped out to get a wheelchair for Leia, and she and Ben helped her into it and wheeled her in through the entrance. Luckily, Leia was able to get into a room right away.

Ben and Rey followed along in her wake, hands laced together. The touch in the car had broken a barrier between them that had been in place since that first evening in his cabin, and now they couldn’t stop touching. She reached her free arm over to hug herself to his big, strong arm, needing to feel closer. Rey had always had to take care of herself, but now she felt she could become addicted to leaning on Ben.

Leia was asleep, breathing still worryingly labored. As they sat at her bedside and waited for the doctor to come in, Ben put his arms around Rey and pulled her close, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Sweetheart, thank you for taking such good care of my mother.”

Rey wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest as a few tears of exhaustion and worry began to fall. “I love and admire her so much.” She turned her face to the side so Ben could hear her better, but left it pressed to his shoulder.

“My foster mother Maz died of cancer. Did I ever tell you that?” Rey felt his deep “no” rumble through his chest. “I was with her till the end. I was 16. It’s what inspired me to become a nurse.”

Ben hummed and stroked her hair as Rey continued: “She was the only one who ever cared about me, the only family or real home I ever had. I was devastated when she died. And now for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a home again with you and Leia, and I’m just so scared of losing it all.”

Grasping her shoulders, Ben pushed her back, eyes searching her face. When he cradled her head in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears, Rey thought her heart would break from the tenderness of it. He pressed gentle kisses to the side of each eye, then to her forehead once more, then to the side of her mouth before drawing back to look her in the eyes.

“Rey, you’re not alone.”

Seeking his whiskey-colored eyes, Rey responded tremulously, “Neither are you.” 

Ben reached out to brush another tear on Rey’s face. “No matter what happens, we will always be your family, if you want us to. I’ll always be there for you. I promise,” he said.

The look in his eyes was so intense, as if he was willing her to believe him. She wanted to, oh how she wanted to. She leaned forward, desperate to convey with a kiss all that she couldn’t put into words. Just then the doctor came in, and they had to shelve this conversation—for now.

* * * * *

Ben and Rey spent the next week tag-teaming, taking turns being at the hospital to care for Leia and being at home to care for the pets and the house, so they hardly saw each other except in passing. But Ben always greeted and left her with a hug, a press of his forehead to hers, and a sweet kiss on the temple or top of her head.

Leia was diagnosed with pneumonia, which was scary given her pre-existing conditions, but she slowly improved and was released after a week. Rey thought it was too soon, but no one could argue with Leia.

“I want to go home! I want my own bed, and my dogs, and my own—well, _your_ food. I hate this place! People always poking and prodding me, and waking me up in the middle of the night.”

“They’re only doing what’s best for you, Leia,” Rey murmured meekly.

“What’s best for me is to be in my own home!”

“Okay, okay,” Rey laughed. “You know I’ve got everything all ready for you. I made your favorite rice pudding, and some lovely chicken soup. You’ll be back to bossing us all around in no time. And the dogs are absolutely dying to have you back. They keep wandering around looking confused, and I can tell they’re searching for you. It’s so adorable!”

Just then, Ben walked in.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted, kissing her on the forehead as usual. Rey glanced over and blushed to see the gleam in Leia's eyes. He turned to his mother. “Ready to go, mom? I’ve got a nurse right behind me with a chair for you, and the car is parked at the main entrance.”

Leia was in surprisingly good spirits as they brought her home that night. Both dogs were completely beside themselves with joy to see her once again, wriggling and yipping and practically falling all over themselves in their attempts to greet her. When they got Leia settled into bed, with the dogs nestled contentedly beside her, Rey and Ben had their first time alone in a long while.

Rey wandered around the living room looking at old pictures, filled with a weird kind of nervous energy. She was more than ready to talk to Ben and explore what lay between them. It was scary, but she was sure he felt it too.

Just then, he came up behind her and put his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. She felt his lips ghosting along her neck, pressing barely-there kisses.

“Rey?” His breath warm against her throat made her shiver, and she hummed in response. “Did you know there’s supposed to be a total lunar eclipse tonight? In about an hour?”

She turned around suddenly in his arms, eyes wide. “Really? I’ve never seen one! Oh Ben, I’d love to see it! Will it be visible from here?”

“Yes,” he smiled fondly in response to her enthusiasm. “I think we’ll have a clear view from the backyard. And I prepared a little picnic for us, with a blanket, and some fruit, and drinks to keep us warm.” He wiggled his eyebrows and she giggled. “I’m going to go take a shower… Meet you in the backyard in half an hour?”

“Sounds good,” Rey answered, and ran to wash the hospital off her as well.

She made sure to shave everything, and apply lotion to every inch of her skin, imagining Ben’s hands all the while. By the time she was done, she was worked up to a fever pitch of arousal. If she had her way tonight, she’d finally, _finally_ know what those big hands felt like all over her body.

It was fall now and the weather in the evenings was cool, so she put on some thick leggings, a sweater, and boots, made sure she had her phone in case Leia needed her, and ran down to meet Ben.

He handed her a flask of something warm and led her over to a blanket in the grass.

“It’s a rum hot toddy,” he said, nodding to the flask. “Watch out, it might still be a little hot.”

She took a few cautious sips and felt the warmth begin seep down from her mouth, through her chest, into her belly and finally her arms and legs. She burrowed into Ben’s side and reveled in the heavy, content feeling that settled over her as she continued to drink the hot toddy. She noticed a container near her feet and reached down to open it, discovering a mix of fresh berries. She pulled out a blackberry and held it to Ben’s lips.

He ate it, sucking the juice off her fingers with those full lips in a way that promised all sorts of sinful things and sent a bolt of heat straight down to her core. When he was done, she chased the sweetness with a kiss, pressing her lips to his. After a moment she pulled back to look at him, searching his face in the moonlight.

“Was that okay?”

“It was more than okay… Rey, I–” He glanced up. “Oh look, the eclipse is starting!”

Rey finished her hot toddy and lay down on the blanket next to Ben, their hands laced together, watching as the earth’s shadow began to slowly cover the moon. She gasped when the eclipse was total and the moon turned red like blood.

“Ben, look at that. I’ve never seen anything so amazing!” she gasped out, laughing in tipsy wonder.

“Neither have I,” he said, his voice sounding closer than expected, and she looked over to find his eyes on her.

“Ben,” she clicked her tongue in mock exasperation, “if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to miss the rest of the eclipse!”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” His voice was low and soft and had that slow, deliberate quality of someone who’s had a little too much to drink. He turned fully onto his side and began kissing her neck.

“Ben,” she laughed again as his breath tickled her skin. “Are you drunk?”

“Just drunk on you, baby. On your laugh, and the moonlight. And maybe the rum[ ******](https://www.instagram.com/p/B5jrBWto8U-/), just a little,” he replied as he rolled over onto his back and pulled her on top of him.

Rey decided she’d seen enough of the eclipse, no longer interested as his hands began to roam over her body in earnest now.

Their kisses turned frantic quickly, and she rolled her hips against the hard length she could feel every exquisite inch of through the thin barriers of his sweatpants and her leggings. Desperate to touch him, she reached down to push her hand under his waistband, finding no underwear to bar her from grasping his velvety length, huge and warm and extremely hard under her hand.

Rey was surprised when he reached down to grab her wrist and pull her hand up to place it over his heart. He rolled over on his side and cupped her face in his hand. “Rey, I want you so badly. I want to take you inside my cabin, take my time with you - if you're okay with that. But if you keep doing that I'm not going to last." He smiled ruefully. "Before we do this, though, I want you to know that this is serious for me. I know it’s soon, but you’re it for me, Rey. I want everything with you, if you’ll have me.”

He stood up and held out a hand. “Be with me, Rey. Please.”

There, under the ancient magic of a lunar eclipse, time expanded into eternity and narrowed to this one point on which everything hinged.

Rey reached up to take his hand. “Yes.”

* * * * *

The next morning, Rey awoke to sunlight streaming in through a window. _But the window in her room faced west?_ She opened her eyes in the hazy confusion between dreams and wakefulness to see the silhouette of a cat through a gauzy curtain, limned with the golden light of dawn.

 _Kylo!_ The night before came rushing back to her. She was in Ben’s cabin, in his bed. She reached over to find his side empty, but her hand came to rest on a piece of paper. Sitting up, she hastily covered her bare breasts and took stock of her condition: completely naked and pleasantly sore and wet between her legs. It had been her first time, and Ben was everything she could have wished for—attentive, gentle, and generous. And the man she loved.

Smiling, she stretched and reached over for her phone. Just a text from Ben: “I’m at the house with my mom and the dogs. Take your time, sweetheart. Last night was amazing. I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

Kylo jumped down and made his way to the bed, purring and rubbing against Rey’s side, nudging her hand imperiously when she didn’t scratch his face and ears just to his liking.

“Good morning to you too, boy,” she said absentmindedly, looking over to the paper that lay on Ben’s pillow. Picking it up, she read in Ben’s lovely cursive handwriting:

_”When I wake up earlier than you and you  
are turned to face me, face  
on the pillow and hair spread around,  
I take a chance and stare at you,  
amazed in love and afraid  
that you might open your eyes and have  
the daylights scared out of you.  
But maybe with the daylights gone  
you’d see how much my chest and head  
implode for you, their voices trapped  
inside, longing to sing out their adoration.  
The opening in the wall now dimly glows  
the faint light of morning. I tie my shoes  
and go out to put the coffee on.[ ******](https://www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/glow-14568)_

_Gone to the main house, join us over there when you’re ready. -Ben"_

Rey smiled and basked in the warmth of Ben’s words for a moment, then got up and got cleaned up and dressed as best she could. Giving Kylo a final pat, she made her way out the door and across the lawn to Leia’s house.

Coming in through the back door, she found Ben in the kitchen frying bacon, scrambling eggs, and singing along to oldies on the radio. The dogs sat at his feet on high alert in case of dropped food, but when they saw Rey they trotted over to her for pets and kisses.

“I guess I can’t sneak up on you with these guys around,” she laughed, hugging him from behind and placing a kiss on his back. He was wearing the sweatpants from last night slung low on his hips and a tight black T-shirt that just emphasized the huge expanse of his shoulders and torso, and she felt heat begin to pool between her legs as she ran her hands up and over his chest.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He twisted around to give her a quick kiss on the lips. “Coffee’s in the pot, and this food is almost ready.”

“How’s your mom this morning? Anything you need me to do?” Rey asked as she poured herself a big mug, leaning back against the counter and enjoying the view as he worked.

“No, I’ve already brought her a light breakfast and some tea, and I made sure she took her medicine. She’s okay for now.”

“Does she know where I spent the night?” Rey smirked as he looked over at her.

“I don’t think she does,” he replied as he plated the eggs and bacon, and then began buttering the toast. “Can you get the fruit out of the fridge, Rey? It’s just there in the glass container with the pink lid. Yeah, that one,” he confirmed as she pulled it out and set it on the table.

“Let’s keep in between us for now.” Rey looked up nervously, gauging his reaction. “Not that I don’t want to tell her, or that I’m not sure about where we’re headed with this,” she hastened to add, “but just because it’s so new. I want to enjoy ‘us’ for a little while before going public.”

“Sure, sweetheart, anything you want.” Ben’s smile reassured her, and they ate breakfast and talked about the practicalities of life and caring for Leia, while their love flowed through and between and beneath, underpinning all.

* * * * *

Ben and Rey spent the next couple of months together whenever possible, and every night in either her bed or his.

_Their lips barely left each other  
in those first few weeks  
only enough breath  
to gasp for life  
and then back  
into the tangle of it all  
the unlockable knot of new love  
and that faint perhaps  
of the forever-be.[ ******](https://www.instagram.com/p/B5t0eeCnWbi/)_

Rey wasn’t convinced that Leia hadn’t noticed anything, but so far she’d remained quiet. Sometimes, Rey caught Leia looking at her with a delighted little gleam in her brown eyes, so like her son’s. Rey knew it was just a matter of time until one of them divulged what they both knew: that they had a shared love of one Ben Solo.

One evening after dinner, Leia called them both into the living room. They found her sitting on the sofa and holding a picture of her and Han on their wedding day, both of them looking impossibly young and so in love. Ben sat down next to his mother, and Rey took the armchair just diagonal to them.

“Did you know, when I met your father, I was only nineteen?” Leia seemed to be talking to herself as much as them. “He was so cocky and handsome, and we fought like cats and dogs at first. And then we were married by the time I was twenty-one. He was ten years older than me, and from a different world in a lot of ways, so we certainly had our rough patches. But I loved him very much, and we had a lot of good years together.”

Leia then turned her eyes on Rey and Ben, seeming to come back to the present. “And we were so lucky to have such a wonderful, beautiful son.” Leia reached over to pat Ben on the knee. “I’ve been so worried about you, Ben. I know you took your father’s death hard. And I’ve been worried about leaving you alone after I die.”

At their sounds of protest, Leia shushed them by holding a hand up. “No, my dears, I know there’s no escaping this. My time has come. But I’m at peace with it now, knowing Ben has you, Rey.”

Rey felt her breath catch in her throat, her eyes locked on Leia’s.

“Mom, I don’t think– I don’t want to put Rey on the spot– We haven’t talked–” Ben fumbled for words, caught off guard and flustered. Rey decided to shut that down immediately.

She came over and knelt in front of Leia, taking her hands. “He does have me, Leia. I promise.” Rey squeezed Leia’s hands once, then reached over with one hand to take Ben’s. When she looked up into his eyes, Rey saw a bottomless well of profound love and gratitude reflected back.

She was so lost in his eyes that the sound of Leia clearing her throat startled her.

“This old lady does have one final request though,” Leia began, and Rey looked over to see the trademark gleam back in Leia’s eyes. “My one dream through all my life,” she continued, and brought her free hand up to cover her heart dramatically, “was to live to see my son married.”

Rey felt Ben freeze as her heart stopped for one moment. She could hear him start to talk, but it all sounded impossibly far away as her heart pounded and her blood rushed in her ears. She stood abruptly and turned to walk out of the room, just to get a little time to _think_. Ben started to follow her, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“No, no, I’m fine, I promise. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”

She could hear his voice rising behind her as she walked out to grasp the wooden banister in the entryway of the house. “... Mom, you can’t just spring something like that on her. We haven’t even talked about this at all. It’s too soon…”

Rey sank down on the stairs and took a few deep breaths. _Could_ she marry Ben? It was true that they’d only known each other for about three months, but deep down Rey knew what she wanted, and what she was looking for... a sense of home and belonging. With Ben, she’d found both.

_Love is  
throwing yourself into a stormy sea  
hoping there are arms to catch you  
knowing that without the leap  
there is only the safe  
and lonely shore.[ ******](https://www.instagram.com/p/CAorfBEnHG1/)_

So she went back into the living room, knelt down at Ben’s feet, and took his hands in hers. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, frozen, only his chest rising and falling in a shallow, unsteady rhythm.

Rey looked over at Leia and winked before turning to Ben.

“You know, I’ve never liked my last name. I was abandoned as a toddler, and no one knew what my name was beyond ‘Rey,’ so they chose a common one for me. I’ve never felt like it was really my own.” She bit her lip and looked down at their joined hands, suddenly nervous. She was sure of Ben’s feelings, but it _was_ so very soon.

She felt Ben squeeze her hands, and suddenly things clicked into place for Rey. She looked up at him as he stared at her, anticipation in his soulful brown eyes. “Like I said, I don’t like my last name. So, Ben, I was wondering… Could I have yours? I would love to be Mrs. Rey Solo. What do you say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, real talk: Leia was OK here, but she won't always be. The canonical character death that I tagged in this story will be Leia. But I promise you she won't suffer. And as you can see from this chapter, she'll be at peace when she passes. Guard your hearts, and be careful if you are dealing with the aging, illness, or death of a parent yourself.
> 
> I used 3 Atticus poems in this chapter; click on the ** next to them for links to the originals. I also used the poem ["Glow"](https://www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/glow-14568) from the movie _Paterson_ , written by Ron Padgett. (I altered it slightly for my purposes here.) **BONUS CONTENT:[you can hear Adam Driver read it in the movie HERE!](https://youtu.be/_ArABaVLiVE)**
> 
> Can I get another chapter in before the big reveal on Saturday?! WHO KNOWS 🤣 (probably not 🙈, but I'll try!)
> 
>  **Progress toward moodboard bingo! --** I already had the old-fashioned typewriter, and I guess the cabin with the light on it as well, since Ben lives in a cabin? This chapter, I got the lunar eclipse and the cat sillhouetted in the window. Stay tuned for more coming up!  
> [](https://imgur.com/BykK5W1)  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo Ren is inspired by Atticus Poetry, who you can find on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AtticusPoetry), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/atticuspoetry/), and [his website](https://www.atticuspoetry.com/). He's anonymous and wears a full face mask to public readings. The beautiful poem which starts out this fic was 100% WRITTEN BY ATTICUS AND NOT BY ME (or Kylo Ren😂).


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